Two weeks ago, I had the pleasure of watching an old childhood friend graduate from law school. While listening to the long winded commencement speaker, something he said caught my attention in the midst of his droning. He urged the graduates to choose whether they were going to run away from their something – whatever it was – or run to it.
Honestly, I didn’t pay attention to the rest of the speech. I was too busy trying to figure out where in my life I was running away from the things I wanted – my something. Where was I dragging my feet in search of my goals? More importantly, why? What could I do to change that?
No matter what I was running from, the why was always the same: fear. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of success. Fear – pure and simple. Fear is a natural human reaction to the unknown. Most of your deepest, most desired goals will fill you with a bit of fear. Totally normal. If they don’t, you’re probably not dreaming big enough. The dreams you strive for will always be a bit of a challenge; otherwise, there wouldn’t be a journey.
The fear itself isn’t the problem. The real problem is what you decide to do because of that fear. You can choose to run away, hide and bury your desires deep within you where they will rot you from the inside out. Or, you can choose to overcome fear and run to toward your dreams.
Sounds a bit daunting, huh? Here are a few steps to conquer the fear machine:
1. Be aware.
Before you start running, you need to figure out which way you’re currently heading. Are you getting hotter or colder? Check in with yourself frequently – once every 2 weeks, once a week, once a day, whatever feels comfortable to you – and honestly assess where you’re running away (or purposefully standing still). Just make a note of it – don’t judge or beat yourself up over it. Remember, it’s totally normal to have that reaction.
2. Break it down.
Now that you’re aware of the different areas you might be selling yourself short, choose one that you’d like to focus on. Then break it down into small steps that seem doable. I mean ridiculously small. Then choose to follow through on it. In my case, it’s blogging consistently. Having a blog scares me because I’ve never written about something that matters to me like this before. When I break it down to writing twice a week, it can still seem a bit daunting. So, I break it down even further until I get to just writing a sentence. You’re reading this, so obviously that sentence multiplied in paragraphs then a post.
3. Celebrate all wins.
After you take one step, take a moment to celebrate! You faced your fear. Congratulations! Don’t dismiss your accomplishment however “small.” Reward yourself with a little something. It doesn’t have to be big – just meaningful. Buy yourself your favorite nail polish. Indulge in going to the park to swing. Give yourself permission to take a well deserved nap. Watch your favorite show. Whatever it is for you – do it! Don’t skip this step – give yourself the credit you deserve.
Before you realize it by focusing on the easy, nonthreatening tasks, you’ll be walking in the direction of your dreams. Sometimes, you might even find yourself running toward them. At the end of the day, it’s your choice. Are you going to run away, or are you going to run toward your dream?
That's a great question to ask ourselves quarterly, or at least annually! Glad you picked up on it and distilled it for us, Beatriz!
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